There is a monster living in my house. I have been seeing its presence more often in recent weeks, and it is by far the most frightening thing I have yet seen in this world. Large animals bring no fear into my heart, yet this monstrosity threatens to destroy my tranquility forever.
"Oh, hello there big doggie."
"Please permit me to pat your face."
I believe it is necessary for you to know that that is one of the smaller doggies I have met. Every time the vacuum escapes from the recesses of our castle, it threatens to devour Mommy and she battles it around the apartment. She tries to put on a brave face for me, and tells me it is okay, but I know that she must frightened. They call it a vacuum, and when it cannot make an appearance, it sends out its minions, the blender and the mixer. All three are equally terrifying. I do not know why we have not yet vanquished these monsters, or at least banished them from our kingdom. I have made peace with the balloons, but I shall never make peace with the likes of these beasts.
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