Grotesque Grass

Across my kingdom, there is a particular texture of which I am not fond called grass. I see it in every location to which I go, and was always interested in getting better acquainted with it, mostly by placing it into my mouth. I recently, however, did make its acquaintance, and found it to be a deplorable texture. 

Grass, I do not know who allowed you to overrun my domain, but you are henceforth dismissed from my kingdom, along with whoever it was that permitted you to reside within my borders in the first place. You sicken me, with your pokey ways and beguiling appearance. Good riddance to you, sir.