Family Home Evening

Mommy and Daddy have always insisted I participate in a weekly activity known as Family Home Evening. This is where we would gather together in the living room, exactly like every other night, but on this night they would pray while I giggled at them. Then they would talk about their plans for the week as I attempted to gain their attention, and finally they would read to me from a book that I, try as I might, failed to destroy. I also failed at grasping the importance of this activity. Now that we live closer to GrandServants, I now know what it is that Mommy and Daddy were missing in their family home evenings: baskets of peculiarly shaped items and a framed painting of Jesus.

"I know the word 'Stop!' It is the word Daddy says when he wants to chase me. I dutifully run as swiftly as possible in the opposite direction."

The first week that we did a proper Family Home Evening, I was presented with the painting of Jesus and asked to place depictions of heads upon it. I know not the reason, but I obeyed.

"Jeezzzuzzz!"

"Yes, I understand that Jesus loves Mommy, but to whom does this disembodied head belong?"

"Does Jesus love Mickey?"

"...but Daddy has a beard..."

GrandMommyServant enjoys attempting to direct my play during these activities. I appreciate the time together, and being informed that I am loved, but I always gently remind her that I am in control.

Now, whenever I visit their house, I demand that the GrandServants immediately lower Family Home Evening that I may carry the baskets about and organize accordingly.

The Porch

Whenever GrandMommyServant arrives, I immediately demand to be let onto the porch so we can explore, sort rocks, and look at kitties.

"KI'Y!"

"KI'Y!"

"Ki'y?"

"OW!" Mommy and Daddy try to mislead me by saying kitties say Meow. Kitties do not say Meow. There is no Me.

I am so excited that I cannot control myself.

"Peradventure kitties say Ow because they are always in pain..."

Fingers are most effective if used simultaneously to teeth and pick one's nostril.

Perhaps I would be able to jump that high, too, if I had not deserted crawling.

I withstand touching kitties as they are covered in their own saliva. It is difficult, however, to resist.

"These rocks must be organized."

This is my outdoor throne.

"From whence did that arm originate?"

"Thou art too bright, M'GrandMommyServant!"

I love my kitties.

I must pet them gently.

Hi kitty.

Kitties love to be petted.

"Can the kitties come inside?" The answer was no, because they make Daddy sneeze. I told Daddy he makes me sneeze, but he did not understand.