Crayons

I love crayons. They have a very intriguing texture, but do not have an especially appealing taste. I am warned on every occurrence of me using them that I must stop putting them in my mouth, or they will be taken away, but they inevitably come back. I try to color with them, but it is just never as satisfying as masticating that waxy substance. I will keep trying, though, as it gives my parents hope that I will eventually color with them and, thus, more opportunities to mash those colors betwixt my teeth. 

"Should something be happening?"

Daddy Daughter Date: Wood Chips and Slides

Daddy recently took me on another Daddy Daughter Date. He transported me in his car, which was very confusing and unsettling. He had to climb into the back to put me in, and then left me in the car as he went around to a different seat so he could drive. Before he ever got to the other door, I had quite a supply of tears on my cheeks. It was just the beginning of a very disconcerting experience.

We went to a park. I had gone to a park earlier in the day and been unsettled by the whole expedition, so I was not terribly excited to return. This one was different, however, and so I gave it a try. Halfway out onto a bridge under which I could see the ground another girl's screams upset me so thoroughly that I finally took my father up on his offer to take me to the nearby lake. This was interesting, as I saw duckies, until my toesies touched the water, and I demanded to be returned to solid ground immediately. By solid ground, I did not mean the sand. Finally, we returned to the playground, and I was allowed to play in wood chips. Daddy tried to enter the wood chip area without wearing shoes, and as that seemed unsafe, I waited until he had placed them back on his feet before fully enjoying the experience.

Daddy kept suggesting other activities, but nothing could draw me away from this thrill except for a slide, and that only after Daddy mentioned it many times.

Even if I could count, I would have lost count of how many times I went down that slide. I made the mistake of leaving the slide just to be frightened by a few things before we left. Altogether, it was enjoyable Daddy Daughter Date!

Swing, Swing

We went to the park the other day. The slide was, regrettably, out of order. This, alone, made the entire expedition a waste of time, if it had not been for the discovery of an all-new outlet for my daredevil tendencies: the swing. I was worried when I was first put in it, and gripped to Mommy out of fear of falling. When she made me let go, I found the swing sufficient to hold my mass, and away I swung. As you will see in the video below, I still had some worries about the fact that the ground was so far below, but I believe with some more attempts, I will be able to find quite a bit of joy in this risky endeavor.

My Dear Sister still hates swings.

Corn on the Cob

Corn on the cob is absolutely delicious. I have had corn in the past, and typically enjoy anything more if corn is involved, but there is something about this new delivery system that makes it all the more enjoyable.  When I first tried it, I let Daddy do all of the hard work.

The other day, however, I got the opportunity to hold my own corn on the cob when My Dear Sister turned it away. I refused to let it go. I ate and ate, eventually carrying it around the house while I continued to gnaw. I had to be instructed by Daddy and others that, unlike all other things I eat, I am not meant to eat straight through the cob, no matter how hard I try or how far I get. I relied on them to rotate the cob for me. 

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

The Lake

We recently visited what is called a lake. It is a vast outdoor bathtub with many people in it that is unclean and thus worthless for anything beyond swimming.

"Why do you force me to eat when I could be swimming in the lake?"

"How do I walk on this?"

"I know I look adorable, Daddy, but i honestly have no clue how to walk on this. Please help me."

You cannot see, but I am out there with Daddy. He took me far out there and even let me swim some by holding me with my tummy in the water and letting me splash the water with my feetsies. It was quite delightful.

Once I returned to the shore, I found that the true joy of the lake is the same as anywhere else: cleanup. I spent the rest of the time at the lake taking the messy sand and putting it back into the lake where it belongs.

Even when Mommy placed me on a blanket, I did my best to gather all of the sand I could so that I may later return it to the lake.

Makeup Instruction

I love doing my makeup. Doing makeup is a whole process and includes multiples steps. Most of these steps can be done in just about any order, and not all must be done each time.

1) Pull out every makeup item and place them on the ground around you.

2) Take the lid off of the chapstick. Apply liberally to lips. Put the lid back on. Take the lid off. Apply liberally to lips. Repeat this process until you inevitably start eating the chapstick or attempt to scrape it all out with your fingernails (whichever seems more inappropriate at the moment). Mommy will take the chapstick away. Move on to the lipstick.

3) Take the lid off of the lipstick. Attempt to put it on your lips. Realize that it is fake lipstick. Dump the fake lipstick on the ground. Put it back in. Put the lid back on. Note: You must laugh incessantly through this whole process.

4) Open up the eye shadow. Dip the applicator in a sparkly circle. Place on eyelids. Realize that nothing is getting on the applicator. Poke yourself in the eye. Give up.

5) Open the blush. Place brush in blush. Brush blush on cheek. Repeat. Realize no sparkles are on blush brush. Consider hilarity of the phrase "brush on blush with the blush brush."

6) Attempt to open hand sanitizer. Mommy lets you do so, knowing that you will not get the lid off. Get the lid off. Have it taken away.

7) Attempt step 6 with the lip gloss. Have it taken away.

8) Prance around, showing off your beautiful face. Be told that you are just as beautiful without makeup. Wonder why you bother. Realize it is mostly for the thrill of taking off the lid to the lipstick and and putting it back on.

9) Repeat step 3.

10) Follow Mommy's instructions to cleanup.

I'm so pretty!

The Bunny in the Backyard

I have mentioned in the past how much I love to watch animals and relatives in our old backyard, but those are incomparable to my bunny friend in the backyard. We call him Peter. No toys, no show, no amount of climbing holds my attention as much as Peter. It matters not that he does nothing of terrible interest, besides eating the hazardous grass and occasionally hopping around. Even I am unsure of my interest in the bunny. Perhaps it's his fuzziness. Perhaps it's his hopping. I like to think that it is because he eats grass in a futile yet selfless attempt to rid our domain of its existence. That is one courageous bunny, doing all he can so that I no longer have to be forced to place my toesies upon that green atrocity known as a lawn. You keep hopping, little friend; you keep nibbling. May we all have the valor of that long-eared fuzzball.

My Car

I have my own car. It has been passed down to me by My Dear Sister. I would have preferred a new car, but I am willing to take what I can get. She does not seem to understand that it has been passed on to me, so I must keep reminding her in no uncertain terms - terms which, I will admit, hurt even my ears. I am now able to hit the open roads as fast as my imagination can take me (I have no idea how to make it actually move).

I love my car.

"Will one of you please top me off?"

"No thank you, I only take Premium Unleaded."

"Please do not get any gasoline on the paint: I just had this waxed."