I Did Not Get What I Wanted for Christmas

Of course, that is not necessarily true. I will explain more, but I first feel that I should apologize for my Daddy (yet again). He believed that having a ridiculous title would draw more readers, and that other bloggers do it to great success. I explained very eloquently that my readers were too loyal of citizens to require being duped by such ridiculous gags, but he looked at me as if I was speaking gibberish.

What I mean to say is that on the morning of the 25th of December, the only thing that I wanted were the many toys which were given to me in the form of wrapping paper and sacks; all of them, however, were stripped from my fingers. I would be given a gift to open which would be covered in these toys, and I would do just as they asked me to do. I would rip off a small portion and immediately insert it into my mouth to be consumed. Daddy would immediately remove it, and after many repetitions of this very thing, Daddy opened all of my presents for me, and Mommy disposed of all of my toys. I thought she was being absolutely ridiculous, until I discovered that there were more toys inside of the toys. What ludicrous concept! I still do not know why this was the case.

Nevertheless, I still was blessed with many a toy, as can be seen below.

Note: If I appear tired in these pictures, it is because I was very sleepy. My parents awoke me much earlier than I would have liked, at least twenty or thirty minutes early from my typical 12 hours.

This is what they call a stocking. It seems odd that a sock would be decorated so nicely. It was full of blocks. Daddy knows how to make them squeak and blow air in my face, but I only know how to sort them. You remember how I would sort the nativity figurines, utilizing a system I care to never divulge? Yes, I still do that.

This is an example of how I would thoroughly enjoy playing with the toys around the toys until Daddy would get impatient. He is so hasty.

Here is my dolly, Stella. I love her, but she has this nasty tendency of believing that her pacifier is solely for her use. Silly toys, why are so many of you so possessive?

I am still certain that this is how this works.

My horsey! I love my horsey! My GrandDaddyServant Gates made it for me. My parental units did not love me enough to bring it back to our residence with me. They say they will allow me to have it around the time of my birthday and say that I will forget. I never forget. Anything. Ever. Except for when I forgot about my horsey until seeing this picture....
Anyway, I was fairly uncertain about it at first. I believe I was saying in this photograph "Where do I put my hands?" I became more certain later. I will explain more at a later date.

"Oh, now, what is that?"

I played quietly for a time with my toys.

Aw, my horsey! GrandMommyServant Little wanted to see me on it. I felt it was too soon.

I was adorable on Christmas, as always.

Attempting to open another present.

Christmas Eve, Forever Ago

Has it legitimately been over a month since Christmas? It feels longer than that. So long, in fact, that I cannot remember it fully. So let us look at some photographs of my beautiful self in order to attempt to make sense of it all.

I believe this was when I was explaining to GrandMommyServant Little that this was Baby Jesus. I seem to recall her and everyone else asking me who it was very excitedly, so I calmly informed them.

Oh, yes, now I remember! We went to my AuntServant and UncleServant's house where everybody celebrated my presence. I was dressed very adorably, and gifts were bestowed upon me.

This bell was one of my gifts, but some rapscallion claimed it was not mine and purloined it from my grasp. Whatever purloin means.

This is me with Holly the Dolly. I actually had her for awhile before this night, but I especially enjoyed being able to where matching clothes with her.

Somebody also gave me this bag. It, like the bell, was also stolen from me.

Inside was a very nice little convertible. I thoroughly enjoy the convertible (I only know it is a convertible because the convertibles speaks and has told me that it is a convertible. Daddy would like me to clarify at this point that he hears the voice as well and would like to assure you that I am not "hearing things", whatever that might mean.)

I did hesitate at first, however, to relinquish my control of the bag for the car. I am glad, now, that I have done so.

I was also given this book, which I still thoroughly enjoy.

These pajamas were given to me by some elves. This picture does a better job of showcasing me than the pajamas, but that is exactly what a picture should do, am I not correct?

"Can I keep this toy, UncleServant Dennis?" He said no.

Other events took place as well that night, but they involved people other than myself so I was not very interested. 

An Apology for the Absence from My Daddy, the Court Jester

I apologize, faithful citizens of the world, for not writing any entries for quite awhile. My lazy Daddy has been too "busy" "looking for jobs," "going to school," and "spending time with me and Mommy and other family members and friends" to write for me. I know, I should punish him for his insolence, but he is just too entertaining. I cannot help but laugh at anything he does! His ridiculous facial hair, hysterical voice, and the teething toys he wears in front of his eyes amounts to the best source of comedy I have ever witnessed.

While jumping is typically a boring enterprise, Daddy makes it uproarious.

All he has to do is walk towards me to make me laugh endlessly.

I also love that he lets me take what he calls "selfies" on the Magic Mirror he keeps in his pocket.

I am positive that all of you would like to know what I have been doing for the past month. Please be vigilant in awaiting more entries to my diary detailing my adventures!