Worship Services

We attend worship services every week. For those who are not religious, worship services are times when a very large congregation meet together to sit still and smile at me. Mommy and Daddy believe I should sit still as well, but I do not believe that they fully understand the purposes of a worship service. So I wiggle and grab everything within my reach and kick and talk as loudly as I can, and that is only during the first little bit. Everyone sings a good amount, and some even stand in the front to sing at times. I find all of this very enjoyable, except that everyone seems to believe they should stare at books without pictures during these songs, so I do all I can to rip the pages out of these. I only act politely during this time if I can make eye contact with people I do not know, and even then it depends on my mood. Then Daddy takes me to another, smaller room, where I am constrained to only being able to play in a small space. This does not work well for me. Let us look at today for an example. He allowed me to be on the ground, but I was forbidden from "Ripping pages out of Hymnals," "Touching people's rear ends," or "Going into the aisle when somebody is walking through." Here is a photo of me playing in that confined area:

Eventually, it became too much for me, and I screamed at Daddy's leg for blocking my escape into the free world. Suddenly I was whisked off to a wondrous place where there were many children that I could watch and Mommy was playing the piano. There was another girl there about my same age, and I enjoyed playing with her, stealing each other's toys and causing her to cry. Here I am, attempting yet another daring escape:

Daddy then took me to a room with many men, which I enjoyed, but eventually I escaped from there by pushing open the door and, before Daddy could stop me, closing the door behind me. I sat in front of it, too, but he still managed to open the door. I found myself back in the room of children. I saw my friend, and she saw me, and we both screamed, escaped our parents' arms, and crawled toward each other. After awhile of playing by her, I crawled quickly up the aisle before Daddy could reach me and successfully brought everyone's attention to me. When I look upon all that occurred, I believe it to be a very successful worship service.