A Walk in the Park, Pt. I: Swing of Doom

Why is it that everyone foolishly and colloquially states "Like a walk in the park," as if a walk in the park was easy, delightful, or not traumatizing? I hate parks. I wish never to return. My parental units believed it would be a good idea to take me to the park the other day on the ludicrous notion that if I enjoyed this little swing months ago, that I would enjoy a large one as well.

They were absolutely wrong.

Then they thought, "Well, if she hates it by herself, why do we not combine it with another activity she dislikes, such as being held?"

Clearly my parental units are neophytes in parenting. Just wait until tomorrow to see how they thought they could calm me down.