Santa Claus

This Christmas Season which I am currently experiencing may be even more bizarre than the Halloween Holiweek. The latest installment of the festivities included a visit to a strange man with a beard and odd clothing preferences. I was asked to sit on his knee and look at the camera.

"I do not understand this, Daddy. Who is this man? And why does my shirt say I am his sweetheart?"

I had no trouble with him (I live with a bearded man with odd clothing preferences) but after I had sat upon his lap, I stayed close by and watched as some children did not handle the whole situation very well. They would scream, stomp the floor, fling their arms, and refuse to sit on the poor gentleman's lap. This raised my concerns regarding this man. Who is this man that would instill such fear in the hearts of other children? The only conclusion to which I can come is that he must be some sort of nobleman who desires to receive pictures with everyone in his kingdom. I am, of course, the highest ranking official in the world, but he must be some lesser monarch. Most of his citizens seemed to be more than happy to oblige to his wishes, while others, most likely those less pleased with his foreign policies, had a harder time. This can be the only explanation, as the man himself seemed exceedingly convivial. He even gave all those who sat on his lap a very large sock packed full of items, even after the visitors demanded other gifts out of him to be delivered at a future date.

He appeared more than happy to have his superior sit upon his lap, and I am glad, now that I know who he is, and how giving he is, that I obliged to do so. And Duke Clause, since I know that you must be an avid reader, I would like to take this opportunity to ask for what I would like for Christmas:

Gardens, like the Duke Gardens.

A Castle, much like the one I stayed in at the Outer Banks.

A very large bathtub for swimming. My parents referred to it as a pool.

All four of my GrandServants to keep a constant presence and presents delivery.

Auntie Cari and Uncle James to live closer.

Turkey and Sweet Potatoes everyday.

A Doggy.

A Lion.

For all people everywhere to recognize that the world is my toy, and stop being so possessive and withholding and just let me gnaw on everything.

Your Superior Always,
Princess Ellie


PS Why does that shirt say that am I your sweetheart?