Inside the Palace Gates: What Toys Have Taught Me

My Mommy and Daddy and others as well given me many toys to use at my discretion, or, more appropriately, when I am aware of their existence. Toys have this nasty habit of disappearing beneath a seat or by my side or across the room and no longer existing. These toys, I am sure, are there to teach me about the world around me. So below I have created a list of lessons which I have learned from my toys. Many of these lessons are from the Jumperoo I detailed in my lest entry.

1. Monkeys and Hippos dwell in trees.

Why is that hippo so interesting, Daddy? Isn't that where they live?

2. Crocodiles make their homes in clear spinny thingies.

No matter how much I try to free this poor guy, he always stays inside this thing.

3. Turtles rattle, stars crinkle, and fish squeak when squeezed.

4. Dollies love to dance, sing, bounce, hop, shake, and snuggle...but only when Mommy, Daddy, or Grandma Little holds her....

Dolly, what is wrong? Why are you no longer dancing?

5. All things go in mouths.

Even this leaf was meant to go in my mouth, although it was in no way pleasant.

6. The best things in life have tags on the side to grab, none of them quite as tempting as the big white one with lettering on it.

Daddy said "Ellie, why is it that with all of those tags on there, you always grab the one that's not meant to be grabbed?" I just stared at him, not knowing what he was talking about.

7. Butterflies should be smashed with extreme prejudice.

DIE FILTHY INSECT!

8. Lions are hilarious. Luckily they come attached to butterflies. And mirrors. Don't even get me started on those.

9. If anything is ever dropped on the ground, a lesser human will pick it up for you.

10. Penguins should be thrown violently on the ground and stomped on. Repeatedly.