Not-So-Little Family Reunion Day 7: Mermaid Princess

Mommy and Daddy left me with the grandparents to go on a date doing something called "Putt Putt Golf." Usually they take me on their dates. Why in the world would they want to go on a date without me? Silly parents, don't they realize I'm the life of the party on all of their dates? 
And finally, on my third day of trying, I mastered swimming. I truly am a little mermaid now.

Look at me, floating on my back all by myself!

Look! I can splash Daddy without sitting on a ledge!

See, Mommy, this is how you splash somebody in the face and get away with it.

Daddy said that some people do not know how to swim. Now that I am an expert, I have taken it upon myself to teach you how it is done. You're welcome.

1. Let somebody else do all of the work for you. This is my secret behind all that I do. Why sit up, walk, or do anything else if somebody else does it for you? I only roll over and hold up my neck because I got sick of trying to get others to do it for me exactly when I wanted them to do it. Now, the thing to remember about this is that when somebody is assisting you, you can still say that you are doing it all by yourself. I swam all by myself. I also sit up, stand, type this blog, and fly all by myself. I am just that talented of a princess.

2. Thank the person that is working for you by splashing water as much as possible. This, I am sure, helps in the process, and as these weirdos drink water anyway, I am sure that they appreciate it. I have since attempted drinking water, and few things are more deplorable. Besides peas.

3. The swimming maneuver that brings the most praise is kicking in something called "froggy kick," a move at which I excel, and always have.

4. The best way to prank the person who is assisting you is by dropping your face down into the water. Try it out, their reaction is priceless.

That night, they played a game called Reverse Charades. As far as I can tell, the purpose of the game is to have one person yelling at a group of people doing ridiculous things and see who looks the most absurd. It was quite nice for everyone to act the part of court jester that night.