I was also weighed and measured at the doctor's office, and I am now 14.5 lbs and 25.5 inches! The doctor said that that is a little longer and heavier than others like me. She also had the audacity to say that this is usually a "chubby" time for people my age but that I will lose weight as I get more active. This hack does not understand that I am perfect; the majority of people of a similar age are just underweight and short. I have no "chubby phases", standards just change at times. I'm a princess, and this is my ruling. Don't argue.
I can eat foods now! Now I can be as cool as all of the big people I watch eat. I have studied their form and hope to enjoy it as much as they do. I have been waiting for this moment since I could remember, which was a few moments ago.
I have come to the conclusion that the doctor is a person parents take their princesses to in order to weigh and measure me, which I know they could have done themselves, and otherwise find information I could have told them. Then they stab me. I think they put some sort of liquid into my body. Maybe it was meant to make me forget. If so, it worked.
So I discovered something called "toes!" Did you know about these? I doubt it. Check this out: when I lift my legs, these toes appear! And they are just barely within reach! And when I grab them, I feel something on my feet! It's fascinating! I play with them whenever I see them. I don't know why it is that I feel something on my feet when I touch these toes. I have a theory, but I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out: What if what my hands do and feel, and what my feet do and feel, and what my face does and feels, etc., is connected? As another example, I will reference the times that I grab something with my hands. When I do so, (or sometimes the following occurs when I do not have anything in my hands) I just keep lifting my arms. Suddenly, there's this thing on my mouth. So I open my mouth and start chomping and sucking on whatever is there. More often than not, however, its taste is less-than-delightful and has a weird texture (and if its my fingers, my fingers suddenly feel wet, crushed, and sucked on). Then, when I move my hands, the weird tasting thing is gone. I am no culinary expert, especially since I only ever have formula, but I know generally that those things that go in my mouth are inedible. Or there are times when the delightful pacifier is removed from my mouth the same time that my hands have grabbed something and started waving it around. I try to tell my family about my discoveries, especially when my fingers feel the wet sucking the same time that my mouth is sucking on something, but they seem to miss how terribly exciting it is to discover such a thing. I have been curious as to their intelligence in the past, perhaps they have not come to the same theory that I have.
Otherwise, the last week or so has included a ton of seeing people. My Little Grandma (or is it Grandma Little?) visited and has been staying with us. Every day we have been going to see relatives, such as an Aunt Patti, an Aunt Judy, an Uncle Tom, an Uncle Don, and a Great-Grandma Jan (I don't know if Great-Grandma Jan realizes her name does not rhyme with the others.) We got to see a lot of cool stuff, like this place they just pushed me around in forever called a zoo. They seemed excited, but it seemed to just be a park full of people and weird noises and smells. They also took me to an aquarium, which was cool! If you have never been, you should go. It's this place with see-through walls and these animals without wings fly around you. It is like the glowy box with the bouncy, floating ROKU called a TV but bigger, with more bouncy, floating things. I could have stayed and stared at that forever. Or at least until my next nap. Which is exactly what I did. I loved seeing all of the people, but it also meant a lot of people holding me and my parents putting me to bed in a strange place, waking me up, driving me in the chariot, and then expecting me to go to sleep in my own bed and be happy about the whole situation (which, for the most part, I was. I like to make things simple for my parents.)
Life is great, except for that constant itching in my mouth that cold chewy things help.
Love,
Princess Ellie
No comments:
Post a Comment