How to Fall Asleep - Ada

There is but one way in which a princess should fall asleep. I have fallen asleep by other means than those listed, but they are few, unintentional, and against my better judgment.

1. Demand to be Held: You must be held as a princess in order to fall asleep. This must be a specific type of hold as well - tight, soft, and rocking. If any are absent, you will stay awake. 
2. Demand a Pacifier: This pacifier must be held in your mouth. If you see or feel the person holding you remove their hand from the pacifier, promptly spit it out in disgust and scream.
3. Demand to be Swaddled: A swaddle may appear to be some form of medieval torture device, but it is quite comfortable. Note: Swaddles work best if you attempt to defeat their purpose by pulling your arms out.
4. Insist on White Noise: Nothing is better than the sound of rushing water to help you sleep. If you do not fall asleep, however, it is good for inducing a strong desire to urinate.
5. Get Hot: If one is not sweating a little from the swaddle and the snuggles, one is not comfortable enough to sleep.
6. Thrash: Vicious thrashing, scratching, and screaming periodically ensures that the servant holding you is truly committed to you. It also lets them know that you are trying to sleep, lest they forget. You have your eyes closed during this endeavor, so you can only assume that they are foolishly directing their attention at something other than yourself, which is forbidden.
7. Timing: If you are not quite asleep, fake it until you are being transferred to your bed. This makes sure the servant attending to you does not gain a false hope of escaping your quarters.
8. Wake up: If you do not fall asleep, do one of two things:
1. Demand Food: Even if you are not hungry, two gulps puts you right out. Why is it my concern if the rest of the bottle is wasted?
2. Smile: If you are startled or in any other way caused to be woken up entirely, smile profusely so that the servant may notice your beauty and thus be sucked into caring for you more.