Scooter

GrandServants Gates have been visiting for awhile! GrandSeravants Littles recently joined as well! I have loved their presences. They have also brought a present called a scooter. I am told that this was an early present, and that more are coming for some holiday called a birthday. I know not its import, but as long as I receive presents, I will be happy. Anyway, this scooter took some time to understand. I am still attempting to understand it.

"Oh, this is a nice teething toy."

"Sorry? What was that? I am not meant to chew this?"

Mommy showed me how to work the contraption. It is delightful, and causes me to snuggle with Mommy.

I prefer going the other way, however, so that I may more easily cart my toys around the room.

Ponies Do Not Have Tails Sticking Out of the Top of Their Heads

Princesses do not wear anything that is not a tiara or crown upon their heads. Bows are tolerated for a time, then they must be pulled off in the most uncomfortable way - it is best if they smack back into the princess' eye, just to prove a point. Hats shall never be accepted, and must be taken off immediately and examined intently. Hair ties are completely unacceptable, as they require the princess to remain still. Princesses never remain still. Ever. Mommy and Daddy have been attempting to put a tie in my hair for many months now to no avail. GrandMommyServant Gates, however, beguiled me with her lovely GrandMommyServant ways into allowing it once. It shall never occur again. I made sure to wait until I was in bed for a nap before I removed it from upon my head and hid it. They have yet to find it. Enjoy these photographs, as they may be the last of their kind.

I suppose I should give a quick update since I wrote this entry. Mommy and Daddy decided that they needed to torture me further with new hair devices.

Pay no attention to how happy I may appear. It is illusion.

GrandMommyServant Gates was also able to get another ponytail on my head. She distracted me with food. I suppose I will do nearly anything for food...

Sparkling Water

I have overheard Mommy and Daddy conversing concerning feeding me interesting foods in order to watch my reaction. I thought that they were being facetious until the other day. I love to drink water out of a straw. I believe it is an efficient tool for the delivery of liquids into my mouth without all of that strenuous work of tilting up the liquid container. Here is a photograph in which I (of course) look adorable while drinking water. 

Mommy and Daddy want you to know that it is water inside of this cup. I know not why, or what other liquids exist.

Then, just when I was all happy with my water, Daddy disappeared and returned with some substance which he called "Sparkling Water." I love sparkles, so I thought it would be delightful.

I knew the shenanigans they were attempting to pull, and so I kept my reaction to a minimum. The beverage was terrible, but I had to resist reacting too fully as to not give into their trickery. I then spent the next few minutes chewing on the straw, pretending to be enjoying the beverage. I do not know why these parental units of mine are attempting to trick me for their own amusement. That is for me to do to them, not for them to do to me.

Bully: Episode II

Cousin Hendrick visited my castle again recently. Again, I greeted him in the typical manner of laughing at him for a few minutes. Then, when his parents left, he grew distraught as he missed their presence. I grew concerned, as I have as of late come to understand wanting to be in Mommy and Daddy's proximity. I did my best to comfort him. Soon, he was soothed. I then believed this was the best time to punch him in the face. He began crying, and I became worried again, wondering what could possibly have upset him. I joined him in crying to show my solidarity. He was then fed, and I played happily by myself with Daddy nearby. Later, we were bathed together. This was an inexplicably odd experience, and I refuse to post any photographs. I had fun, crawling over Hendrick so I would more easily protect my toys from ever entering his grasp, and, again, he became upset. I know not why. I was then fed, and this is what I did throughout the whole bottle:

I then went to bed. I later overheard Mommy and Daddy saying that Hendrick was much happier after I had gone to bed. I cannot fathom the cause for that to occur. They kept reprimanding me throughout the night for my very polite behaviors, saying nonsense phrases like "Be gentle, Ellie!" "Ellie, please share!" and "Ellie, stop picking Hendrick's nose!" I play so well with others.

How to Refuse Disgusting Food Like a Princess

I do not know what is wrong with my parental units, but they appear to occasionally attempt to poison me with horrifyingly textured foods. I believe it to be no fault of their own, as they appear to be consuming the very same thing I am. I can only assume that they have terrible taste in food. I try my best to reject the inedible concoctions without hurting their fragile feelings. I believe I have found the perfect solution.

Motion Photograph Games

Mommy and Daddy play something they call "Video Games". These are when they watch a program upon the Magic Box and click buttons upon these funny remotes. I have only seen them play a handful of times, other than my mother performing her Zumba routine, yet I believe they play quite a bit more when I am not present. Recently, Mommy and Daddy attempted to satiate my interest in the cord connecting Daddy's remote to the magic box by handing me another. You can see for yourself how that went. 

"Oh, such a nice toy."

"You may have it back now."

I have become more accustomed to this new toy, which has led to it being removed from my possession. Apparently I left teeth marks on the toy. I thought that that was what I was supposed to be doing with it. Nothing is as interesting, however, as the toy with which Daddy is playing. I love to grab the cord, close the door on the cord, or press the buttons on Daddy's toy. He does not appear to appreciate this action. Thus, Daddy has to stop pretty quickly and pay attention to me, as everyone should always do anyway. I believe I am correct in stating that that means I win the Motion Photograph Games.

Crawling in a Dress

While I do appreciate wearing dresses for how they accentuate my beauty, I have found them to limit my mobility considerably. I have overcome this by inventing a whole new style of transportation, which Mommy and Daddy call a bear crawl. This involves me using my feet for propulsion in my knee's stead. Many mock me for my creation, but they shall mourn when they see how quickly I am now able to move! It is of no matter to me that it makes my knickers fully visible to the world, or that the day of this particular photograph Mommy and Daddy forgot my knickers and so everyone could see my nappy. I cannot help but believe that this crawling style is the reason why Mommy and Daddy keep having me walk around on my feet. This is the pinnacle of mobility.

Until, that is, I trip.

"Worry not, this was, er, intentional. Yes, intentional. Ahoy!"