The Pincess Test - Ellie

Now that I have fully accepted my position as senior pincess in the castle by embracing the dress, it is requisite that I be educated in all of the most important learning a pincess can acquire. The following is an assessment I passed with full honors, despite me acting in an affected manner for the camera.

Now I must be educated in the ancient traditions of "make up."

Themed Family Photographs - Ada

Mommy and Daddy have this peculiar habit of forcing all of us to wear matching attire and stand in front of the camera. It is an odd custom that pleases me very little.

"What are we doing?"

"At what are you all looking?"

"Please, I beg you: cease this atrocity!"

"I am not fond of this either, dear sister."

This family in which I have been placed is ridiculous. I am far too cute for the things which they force me to do.

Pincess Dress! - Ellie

I will provide an example of a typical conversation I will attempt to have with my Mommy and Daddy on an average day, along with the translation for those who know not my language.

"PINCESS PINCESS PINCESS PINCESS PINCESS!  Anna sick. Hug. Happy! Dansh! PINCESS! Dansh! Pincess shoes. Pincess Dress! Dress dress."

Translation:

Mommy, will you please play a "PINCESS" song? If that is currently unavailable, I will gladly allow the substitution of either a "PINCESS" show or even you singing a "PINCESS" song. Speaking of "PINCESS" shows, remember when we watched that delightful movie? You know, that one where one of the "PINCESS"es, "Anna" got "sick" but she became well once more when her sister "hug"ged her? That movie made me very "Happy." Say, what do you say you and I "Dansh!" like a "PINCESS" would "Dansh!"? In fact, I think it would be even better if I were to wear "Pincess Shoes" and a "Pincess Dress." What if you wore a "dress" too? Remember when I did not like to wear a "dress"? That sure was peculiar of me.

I have recently become so especially enthralled with me being a pincess due to an effort by my family to get me accustomed to wearing dresses. Awhile ago, I was being forced to wear dresses that were especially poofy. These required some struggling to place upon me, and I thus became vehemently disenchanted with the thought of wearing a dress. To be specific, I fought any attempt to bring a dress near me by screaming, kicking, and crying. Once the dress was upon me, and I had forgiven my parental units for winning the wrestling match, I quite enjoyed the dress, but still loathed the process. Mommy, Daddy, and a Momoss (GrandServants are now entitled "Papa" and "Momoss") showed me pincess videos, showing me that pincesses wear dresses. They also gave me much nicer dresses that are easier to wear and more my style.

 Recently, Ada had to wear one of the old, beautiful, uncomfortable dresses that I used to have to wear.

"Look what Ada has to wear!"

"Too bad she doesn't get to wear one of the comfortable dresses I get to wear now."

"I am uncomfortable even being near this dress. Do you hear her yelling? See, it's not just me."

Occasionally, however, I do choose to wear more poofy pincess dresses. I express some anxiety when putting on said style of dress, but once on, I can finally dansh like the legitimate pincess I am.

My Special Day - Ada

I was recently blessed. This, itself, could have been a delightful experience. Instead, the odd ceremonial customs associated with receiving a special message from the Father I left to come here made the experience far less enjoyable. First, I had to be strapped into my dress. It took many hands to accomplish this task.

I was then left alone by my sadistic captors to fend for myself in the frigid air. Know they not that I must constantly soak in their warmth like the parasitic entity I was accustomed to being for so long? I informed them of their mistake throughout Daddy's wasted photographic session.

Luckily somebody understood my plight and offered some soothing warmth, albeit far less than I deserved.

I must say, however, that the dress I was provided was appropriate for my station.

I was then to be photographed by my sister, but was informed, while preparing for the shot, that this dress was once hers. I do not appreciate second hand clothes.

The worst part was when I was forced to endure being outside while people simply stood around and smiled, ignoring my demands that I must constantly be breaking a sweat or else I am too cold.

I later fell asleep while being cuddled by Daddy at church. I awoke for a time when my Daddy was giving the blessing. The ritual appears to include holding me away from his body. I appreciated the blessing, but this was unacceptable for all of the aforementioned reasons. I voiced my disinterest until I was, again, held close and allowed to sleep once more.

Dansh! - Ellie

I have maintained throughout my life a strong desire to dansh. Pincesses dansh, and I am a pincess - thus, I dansh.I have become more accustomed, however, to participate in couples danshing, as I find it to be far more pincessy. When pincess musisisisic begins to play, I cannot help but dansh either with Mommy, Daddy, or a toy, such as my Ow.

My favorite type of dancing with Daddy is when he spins me about so quickly that my feet do not touch the floor. This is the most artistic dansh I have yet performed. My partner, Daddy, typically tires quickly and becomes wobbly while walking, but I keep demanding this particular style of dansh until distracted once more.

Yet another style of dance was recently introduced to me, and it is glorious. I simply hold a remote, stare at the television, and wiggle. This would be a silly thing if Mommy and Daddy did not always perform with me.

Compare and Contrast - Ada

I am often hearing Mommy and Daddy make comparisons between Ellie and me. They will say things such as "She looks so much like Ellie!" "She's definitely much louder than Ellie ever was..." "She looks more like Charlie than Ellie did." "Ellie never sprayed pee all over me...." "Ada is more clingy." "Ada is definitively the superior monarch and shall usurp the throne." I find it ill worth their time to draw such comparisons as I am my own person and, while I have yet fond feelings for my sibling, find it degrading. As such, I have done my best to prove my uniqueness by doing all of the things which set me apart. This has gotten tiresome, however, as I truly am a happy princess and would rather relax than cry. That is well, since I am sure I will, eventually, nevermore be compared with Ellie. Once my individuality is formed, I know that I will no longer be forced to wear her old clothes out of which she has grown nor our parents' attentions, nor I will never have to face the horrors of sharing a room, toys, clothes we are both still wearing, the television, princes, the limelight, food, a carriage, bedtimes, friends, jewelry, nor anything else. Sharing a kingdom will be enough of a challenge!

Assisting Mommy and Daddy - Ellie

To begin, I would like to state that from here on forward, I shall be pronouncing all words I speak as I speak them.

I have found it requisite as of late to assist Mommy and Daddy where necessary with some of their tasks. I can tell that they are stretched thin between Daddy working more and Ada selfishly demanding attention. While she is egocentrically ordering them about, I have kept my requests to my most miniature and basic needs of snacks immediately when I request them and to know what I mean when I say shna' instead of asking many questions, switching between colo' sta'wa's and colo' p'inshesh, attempting to climb the couch and bare walls, requiring a partner while dancing, wanting to watch my shows (consisting of either ChooChoo, Geo'ge, P'inshesh, or Goc which Mommy and Daddy pronounce Doc McStuffins), and being swung on two t'ree! 

I have also aided their efforts through active efforts. For Mommy, I get objects which she requests me to bring to Ada. I have also helped feed Ada, but this is rare.

When I cannot help, I practice by bapshing and feeding my own baby. 

For Daddy, I have taken many photographs for him using my own camera and, once, a camera he provided for me.

Scribe's Note: "Bapsh" means "Bounce". We have no clue why she says it that way.