Makeup Instruction

I love doing my makeup. Doing makeup is a whole process and includes multiples steps. Most of these steps can be done in just about any order, and not all must be done each time.

1) Pull out every makeup item and place them on the ground around you.

2) Take the lid off of the chapstick. Apply liberally to lips. Put the lid back on. Take the lid off. Apply liberally to lips. Repeat this process until you inevitably start eating the chapstick or attempt to scrape it all out with your fingernails (whichever seems more inappropriate at the moment). Mommy will take the chapstick away. Move on to the lipstick.

3) Take the lid off of the lipstick. Attempt to put it on your lips. Realize that it is fake lipstick. Dump the fake lipstick on the ground. Put it back in. Put the lid back on. Note: You must laugh incessantly through this whole process.

4) Open up the eye shadow. Dip the applicator in a sparkly circle. Place on eyelids. Realize that nothing is getting on the applicator. Poke yourself in the eye. Give up.

5) Open the blush. Place brush in blush. Brush blush on cheek. Repeat. Realize no sparkles are on blush brush. Consider hilarity of the phrase "brush on blush with the blush brush."

6) Attempt to open hand sanitizer. Mommy lets you do so, knowing that you will not get the lid off. Get the lid off. Have it taken away.

7) Attempt step 6 with the lip gloss. Have it taken away.

8) Prance around, showing off your beautiful face. Be told that you are just as beautiful without makeup. Wonder why you bother. Realize it is mostly for the thrill of taking off the lid to the lipstick and and putting it back on.

9) Repeat step 3.

10) Follow Mommy's instructions to cleanup.

I'm so pretty!