Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Pumpkin Slaughter and Chocolate Soliciting

There is a time-honored tradition in the land called Halloween. It is a tradition which starts long in advance before the actual holiday. The early stages begin with costume design and creation. My Dear Sister received a new dress, Daddy made a hat, Mommy got a crown and altered a dress, and I got a hand-me-down cocoon of fluff. I minded this very little for the most part, as I was warm and cuddled, but I did not appreciate the hood which I was forced to wear. The next step of the celebration is spent slaughtering helpless gourds. 


Thank you, Papa, for introducing me to this kind pumpkin...

...which Daddy promptly disemboweled.

"Do these results justify the means?"

All of this culminated in My Dear Sister soliciting chocolate from strangers. I was given very little - a fact which I have not forgotten, dear parents. Why did these unknown persons willingly bestow sweets upon marauding children due to a thinly veiled threat from the children? If someone were to knock on my door and offer an alliterated ultimatum I would not bequeath any of my precious chocolate. I can only assume that all of the homes we visited were decorated so fiercely in a failed attempt to scare away the aforementioned smugglers of sweets.


"How did this become a thing?"

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