A Princess and Her Ball

I love my ball. While Mommy and Daddy squander away their time tossing about discs, I find that I am far more apt to throwing spherical objects, specifically this ball. Someday I will invent a sport unlike any other - one that involves a ball. Perhaps multiple athletes may play at once, and against each other. This will be far more popular than this disc golf buffoonery. Perhaps I am simply too much of a dreamer for my own good, but I like to think that my talent will be useful in the future.

Concert in the Park

Yesterday evening we went to a park - thankfully it was devoid of swings - and we sat and listened to music. I know not why we went to a park to do this, but it was nice to see my kingdom. I did not appreciate, however, being suspended above the despicable grass. Mommy and Daddy were able to restrain me from wandering by placing me, bereft of socks, on a chair in grass. I was incapable of leaving my seat as it would have required me to step upon the horrific substance, which I refused wholeheartedly to do. Granted, the removal of my socks was done by me. I despise socks almost as much as I despise grass. Finally, Mommy took pity upon my plight and held me.

"Why are we here?"

"Oh, hello dear camera."

"Pray tell: what are all of these people gazing upon yonder?"

"Should I risk this? It is tickling my toesies!"

"Why have you done this to me?"

"Please save me, Daddy!"

"Excuse me, Madam, but would you kindly rescue me from these monsters?"

"That did not work."

"Must I hold up my feet forevermore?"

Talking on My Mobile Telephone

I recently came to acquire my own mobile device. I have been attempting to use it to call the GrandServants, but it appears to telephone someone who speaks multiple languages. I know not why this would occur, but thankfully whoever it is that I continuously telephone does not appear to mind.

I have not had much experience with telephoning others, yet I believe I have come to understand the basics.

"Is this how it is held, Mommy?"

"Hewwo Gwawa!"

"I suppose I should simply send a message of text."

"Daddy! I love my mobile telephone!"

"Hello! BLECHH!"

"This is my telephone, Mommy, please let go."

Reading Aloud to Myself

I have begun reading out loud to myself. It is a delightful way to pass the time.

Daddy appears to not appreciate the fact that I am attempting to read my books to him, which requires an increased volume, and Mommy is not fond of how I say DADADA while reading books about Mommies. Obviously, she has not taken my advice to study my superior dialect, or else she would understand what I am saying. Also - and this seems most trivial to me - they both tend to criticize me reading the books upside down, as if it matters. I simply believe the images are more interesting that way.

My First All-Nighter

Yesterday evening, I decided that I would like to attempt an age-old tradition of the All-Nighter. I had heard legends tell of this rite, but had never participated myself, as I typically enjoy my twelve hours of rest each night and have for most of my life. Yet my tummy was not its usual, joyful, hungered self yesterday, so a night-long snuggle session sounded superb. I went to bed at my usual time, and fell asleep fairly quickly. Four hours later, however, when I could hear that Mommy and Daddy had finally fallen asleep themselves, I began crying. I did not cease my crying until Mommy was snuggling with me in front of the magic box. When she attempted to put me back down, I resumed my protestations. I could tell that this process was simply going to repeat itself unless I took some drastic actions. So I cried so vehemently that I vacated my stomach onto Mommy multiple times until she returned the favor. Daddy then gave me a bath, and the rest of the night consisted of us sitting up, watching the box, eating crackers, and snuggling. Each time they attempted to put me down, I cried violently, frightening my parents into saving me and returning to our previous activities. Finally, sometime after the sun had come up, I fell asleep on Mommy. Now my tummy no longer feels upset, but I feel very strange otherwise. Perhaps all-nighters are not worth the hassle. We shall see.

"Heh."

Snuggling

I must admit to you a secret in the strictest confidence. Ever since my latest experimentation with seeking emancipation through walking, I have become overcome with a great fear regarding actually achieving my independence. As such, I have abandoned any plans of walking and instead regressed to cuddling, an activity for which, as you well know, I have never been especially fond. Yet I have a strange feeling regarding Mommy and Daddy which I cannot adequately describe. Could it be love? Nay, that is far too strong and naive of an emotion for royalty. We shall settle for now with extreme contentedness. I know not what lies in my future if I leave this content life. I know of no options aside from emancipation or remaining unable to walk. So for now, I shall reassure my parental units of my loyalty to them via cuddling while I seek a solution. 

"Why must you-

-photograph this-

-supreme lapse-

-of judgment?"

I knew not you captured this moment, Daddy! Now people will falsely believe I enjoy cuddling!

I suppose I am fond of these jesters.

Rides in My Carriage

Carriage rides are, perhaps, the most peculiar oddity I am faced with on a daily basis. Each time we go on a ride, I am placed within a room around which the world moves. I am grateful to be outside of the castle and view my beauteous kingdom, yet I am still unsure as to whether or not I enjoy these rides. On each occasion, I am forcibly strapped into a torture device. This device restricts my movements from moving about the cabin. There are no places within the carriage to which I would like to travel aside from the mirror. I, of course, always look incredible, and it is nearly impossible for me to resist giving my likeness a kiss. The ride itself is quite nice, but Mommy and Daddy often cause the rides to go much longer than is necessary. I know not why we cannot go to the same places without necessitating such a long time of restraint, or skipping the entire carriage ride altogether. Either way, my verbal complaints over all carriage rides taking longer than I would appreciate appear to be ignored.

"How wonderful. Another ride in the carriage."

"Thank you, Father, for this toy. I will allow this to appease me for the next few moments, and then throw it out of reach and protest vehemently for its return."