Phrases I Understand

I am becoming increasingly knowledgeable in the language of the adults, although I am more capable of understanding this language than I am with speaking it. Here are some phrases I can comprehend:

Do a barrel roll! - Spin around in circles with my arms above my head. I believe Daddy was intending for me to roll across the floor, but I am far too pristine of a princess to do such a careless endeavor.

Body slam Grandpa! - I must immediately sprawl across GrandDaddyServant and burrow my head into his shoulder. This must not be confused with a snuggle. They have no similarities.

Where is your head? - For reasons I am unaware, Mommy and Daddy inexplicably lose capabilities to recognize portions of my body. When this happens, they begin asking me repeatedly to locate these portions of my body. If I cannot yet understand which body part they are attempting to find, they will point to their own body parts to show me where I can find them on my own body. How it is that they are able to locate their head when they cannot find mine is beyond my abilities.

For any other question, I simply nod my head.

Book - The square objects which contain images and which others point at while saying nonsense. I have learned to do the same

Baby - the toys that appear to be lifeless versions of myself. I do all I can to care for these babies in the same way that I would like to be treated, namely by kissing, hugging, carrying around, and ensuring no articles of clothing are ever left upon their bodies.

Go get ___ and take it to ____. - This is a fairly simple task, and as my servants do so much for me, I believe it a little service to return the favor.

Blow a kiss! or Give a kiss! - This is a formal greeting I provide by clapping my hand over my...well, I am unsure of the body part I clap my hand over, but it is just below my nose.

Let's go! - This signifies that a departure is occurring. Mommy and Daddy assume this always includes me, but if I am perfectly content in my current location, I wave to them and walk away.

Kitties - Scan my surroundings frantically for kitties, for they must be nearby, and I must point at them.

No no! That's not for Ellie! - This phrase has different meanings depending on who is uttering it. If it is from everyone other than Daddy, it means that I must not touch whatever it is that I am about to touch or have already grabbed. I will then hesitate, internally debating whether or not I should comply. Most often I do, but then ask whether the similar object beside the original one is appropriate for grabbing.

"I cannot touch this leaf?"

"...but what about THIS leaf??"

If Daddy is saying the phrase, I am to giggle and repeat the act.

"Gragra!"

I have been confused as to the titles which should be used for my servants. I was under the impression that "Daddy" was a title imparted upon whichever servant was the best at tossing me into the air and tickling my toesies. Under my false knowledge I thus began calling one particular GrandDaddyServant "Daddy" as I assumed this was a title I was able to bestow upon him. I was apparently incorrect, as I was told on various occasions. Now I know to call Daddy "Dada" or "Daddy" or "Dad" or, most often, "Da'y", and GrandDaddyServants are called "Gragra".

I am told this shirt says "ADORE MY GRANDPA". As that sentence has no acting noun, I am unsure what it is supposed to mean, and can only assume that my shirt is giving all who read it a command.

The Cult of Story Time

I was recently taken by Mommy and Daddy to an exceedingly peculiar ritual which I could only assume was attached to some sort of cult. Many children and their servants were gathered around a lady who led the group in chants and songs. She would hold up stuffed animals and shake them about, instructing the group to make outlandish noises to the poor, inanimate beast. I am unsure whether we were meant to worship said creature, or humiliate it. We then read books which taught us even more ludicrous vocalizations, such as vroom vroom or honk honk. Hand motions were even indoctrinated upon the group, but I stayed true to my principles and did not allow Daddy to drum my hands. Unable to escape, I formulated a plan by which I went to the front of the circle, feigning to participate more effectively, and then ran for the door. The room, however, was surrounded by a transparent wall through which I was unable to traverse. Finally, after much time of staring nonplussed at all present, attempting to render how insane one must be to enjoy this activity, it ended, and toys were dispersed throughout the room. I concluded that toys were toys, and no matter how warped of minds the children may have, I could still stand to play in their presence.

As I do not have a photograph of this experience, here is another glamorous image which will suffice as showing my general opinion of the situation.

The Beach

We spent a few days in a land called the beach. This should not be confused with the beach I went to for the birthday party, or the lake's beach, as this is far different. This included much, much more sand, and a few days away from home. I did not appreciate sleeping in the same room as Mommy, Daddy, and the GrandServants, a fact I protested by insisting we played for an excessively long time in the middle of the night, but I did enjoy all of the sights, including walking on a boardwalk, going shopping, and going to the beach itself. I am still uncertain of walking in the sand, but I thoroughly enjoyed playing in it, and the extreme expanse of water which kept attempting to attack me frightened me but a little.

"Is that sand that I am walking upon?"

"I prefer the feel of the sand between my fingers instead of between my toesies!"

"Please do not make me walk upon that sand once more!"

"Ooh, a kite!"

"Why do we not have a beach back at home, Daddy? I demand we have one installed immediately!"

A strange apparition appeared whilst we were playing upon the beach. I attempted to catch it, but I was unable to do so.

On our way home from the beach, we stopped by an odd building in which people talked about two gentlemen who traveled a far distance. I, too, wanted to travel a far distance, and once out of my pram, refused to be placed inside once more. The photos below are the happiest I was in my carriage that day. I presented this flower to my GrandMommyServant, and she was quite appreciative. I have noticed that these flowers sprout forth throughout the grassy portion of people's grounds and not amongst flowerbeds. Why it is they plant them in such odd locations I know not. It must be the most prized of all flora.

Nursery

Moving has also had the repercussion of attending different worship services. All is mostly the same excepting the new people for whom I may perform. The primary unique portion of this worship service is that Daddy and Mommy come with me to a wondrous place called the nursery after the first bit for which I must sit still. This nursery is magical, as I get to play with other children my same age, eat snacks, listen to a story, color, sing, and there are even BUBBLES! I shall now dissect each individual element. The play time is quite enthralling, and I treat all of the other children with the utmost respect, even when they do not return the favor. Story time comes next. We all sit on chairs and politely listen to somebody. I make sure to sit still, too, for at least the first few moments. I am then whisked over to a table where we color pictures related to the story. I know not the cause, but my dainty attempts at coloring never has the same results as the other children. We then have snacks, and I am sure to always stay in my seat and eat my snacks in the cleanliest manner possible. Next is singing time, during which I sit upon the ground and watch with great interest as the other children and adults sing. Then there are the BUBBLES! I love bubbles so much! I scream with the utmost joy whenever I see them. Mommy and Daddy laugh at my excitement, but I care not: I am happy in nursery. Sometimes my classmates burst into tears, which causes me great confusion: how could anyone be so unhappy at the happiest place in my kingdom?

Getting Dirty at the Lake

Mommy, Daddy, one of the GrandMommyServants, many relatives, and I went to a lake. I have been to a lake in the past, but this was the first lake I have visited into which people entered. I found this to be such an odd concept that I was unaware Daddy was carrying me into the lake until he was quite far. I was so surprised to be above the water that I had to evaluate the situation further and concluded that I had come this far unharmed and that I might as well continue further. I enjoyed watching my cousins playing in the water, but their splashing was quite inappropriate and unappreciated. Daddy occasionally attempted to dip my toesies into the water, but that was despised just as much. I continually urged Daddy onward into the lake, but this resulted in him getting my toesies wet. He claimed that this was a natural result of going further into the lake, but I find his credibility in the matter lacking. When he brought me back to the shore I found considerable enjoyment in playing in the sand and, later, in the dirt. Much of the substance stuck to my body, and while I would normally wish to be cleansed immediately, I felt carefree this particular day and experimented with messiness with my cousins. I found it to be fairly enjoyable if reserved for rare occasions.

Helping in the Kitchen

I am such a benevolent monarch that I even attempt to assist servants in their responsibilities. As I am not restricted from the kitchen in this new palace, I have taken to helping in the creation of food. This help mostly results in me standing around the legs of whoever is making dinner while they flail and stomp wildly when they realize my presence and attempt to not trample me. My other attempts at assistance include pulling the tablecloth off of the table, opening drawers, and standing firmly inside of the fridge door so that they are unable to close it and instructing them on what we should eat. While my philanthropy largely goes unrewarded, they do occasionally welcome my efforts.

Ellie the Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtle

I recently went to a beach for the birthday party for a potential suitor. The said suitor must have some penchant for green people with bulky torsos and hairbands worn over their eyes, because their depictions were upon nearly every surface. A "shell" was even placed upon my back, which I found to be quite a bit more comfortable and stylish than a hair bow, and thus never attempted to remove. It is quite the fashion statement, is it not? While I enjoyed the shell, the food, and the boy, I kept attempting to escape to a nearby party that was pink with balloons. Mommy and Daddy put their feet into the water while holding me, which made me very uncomfortable, as did attempting to walk on the sand by myself. They never got any of the accursed water upon me but I was nevertheless disconcerted by its proximity, and hope never to be placed in its presence again. I would, however, appreciate having that shell placed upon my back once more.

"Ki'y!"

This new palace has animals called "kitties" which wander about the property and rest in a particular room. As I love these beasts so thoroughly, I have attempted to learn to say kitty, but the "tt" sound is difficult for me. I do not touch the kitties, as the thought alone makes me laugh, but I enjoy standing near them and pointing. They are fascinating creatures which have not yet learned how to walk as I have, and they are covered in very soft hair which I so desperately would like to touch but am respectful enough not to molest. They have yet to gain a fondness for me and run from my presence. This confuses and saddens me, yet I understand their trepidation in being in the direct proximity of one so majestic as myself.

The New Palace and Its Grounds

The palace in which we now live is supposedly one that I have visited in the past but of which I have no remembrance. It belonged to GrandServants, but they have been kind enough to donate it to me. Worry not, for I have allowed them to remain in their bedroom downstairs as servants. I am quite pleased with the relocation. It is less hot here, I see all four GrandServants regularly, and I have more space to roam. This castle has two floors and a stairwell, which I was blocked from entering soon after our arrival to my dismay. It also has a vast acreage which I may wander to my liking. I am a very happy princess.  

"Mommy! I would like to toddle in that direction but I need your assistance!"

"This is such a large object for me to overcome that I shall require your help."

"I shall now obtain this notforellie for myself."

"Oh, it is quite heavy!"

"Daddy, may you grab it for me?"

I love rocks.

I especially love holding two rocks at once.

Rocks are not, however, for eating.

"Why must I not eat the rocks?"

"This is a birdbath? You expect me to believe that birddies take baths? Where are their toys?"

I love it here!

Pause for the Pool

Just when I thought that we could travel no longer, we stopped at a peculiar building in which many people were also lodged. While I was not especially pleased to discover that we had farther to go the next morning, I did appreciate that this inn was not our final destination. After arriving, we ate and then went into the pool. Perhaps my servants will learn how much I dislike the pool. This may have been the least despicable attempt, as there were children present whom I could observe whilst being tortured.

Well I suppose this is not so deplorable.

I shall never leave you, Mommy!

I love playing with GrandDadd - wait, why have I left Mommy?

On the Road

Boxes populated our abode and the grounds outside for a long stretch of time. Then one day, with all of us clad in colors described as patriotic (which is ridiculous because their Benevolent Monarch is only interested in pink), we piled into vehicles and departed our castle never to return. I am still nonplussed as to the reason for us leaving, but while I was unaware of what was happening while we were moving, I have come to fully appreciate the decision for reasons I will detail in future posts.

"Why are we photographing ourselves in front of our empty castle?"

"Mommy, why are all of my belongings contained within this gigantic metal box?

I had fun riding in the back with Daddy.

I am a prodigious artist.

I acted appropriately during the whole carriage ride, although I do believe it was for an excessively long duration.

Packing Up the Palace

I know not the reason for this sudden occurrence, but I awoke one day to find many objects within the palace being placed into boxes. 

You are going to remove me from within this box before you close it, are you not?

Three of the GrandServants arrived as well to assist in the process. While I was excited for their presence, it also marked a new policy which forbade me from utilizing my newly discovered talent of walking in the family room. I know not the reason for the restriction and was not fond of the decision.

I have gained a penchant as of late for fitting myself into spaces barely large enough to accommodate my body.

I received this poor treatment despite the fact that I was doing all within my power to assist by removing objects from the boxes before they were sealed. Thus I was forced to watch helplessly as all of our belongings were hauled off to a large box attached to my GrandDaddyServant's truck. If it was not for a GrandMommyServant who was constantly willing to play, I know not what I would have done!