3 Months and 3 Weeks

It has come to my attention that I have not reported much about my progress as a princess. I know, it may be hard to believe, but I am changing quite often. Don't worry, I'm still just as perfect as ever, I am just getting more perfect all the time. I giggle a ton now, and they are real giggles. I love to grab things and shove them into my mouth, although I have found that perhaps not all things are meant to go into my mouth. Like fuzzy things. Those feel weird on my tongue. But I keep trying, just to check if something has changed. I do like to lick other things, like Mommy's shoulder. I have also started to really enjoy chewing on things referred to as teething rings, or as my Daddy calls them, chew toys (I wonder when he will learn that I am not a puppy. Or, at least, that's what Mommy says when he calls them chew toys. I do not know what a puppy is. Do they like to put things in their mouths and lick things, too? If so, I believe I would get along with puppies. I met a kitty in Washington and it was soft and kept walking away from me. I believe that it had the false impression that it was more regal than me. Silly kitty). I love TV, as well, but nobody lets me watch it. I find that very unfair, as Mommy and Daddy watch TV all the time. Well, Mommy does let me watch TV sometimes, but only when she says something about my nails and holds my hands and feet and makes this snip snip snip noise. I don't know what she's doing, I'm too busy watching the word ROKU bouncing across the screen. TV is cool. Daddy has been gone some this week at things called a Practicum and School, which sound to be nicer than that Work thing he used to be involved in much more. Plus he can come home earlier so I see him before I go to bed. I'm so glad when Daddy comes home. Glad as I can be. I also respond to my name now. Of course, I have always known what my name is, I just have decided it is better and more mature to respond instead of ignoring Mommy and Daddy. I like being able to sleep in my own bed again, and I love sleeping 10 to 11 hours, which means I nap less and play more! We have gone on a couple outings the last couple days, one to the Capitol and ensign peak and one to a little lake. Mommy and Daddy seemed excited by them. I liked to see new things, too, especially trees. Trees are fascinating. Have you ever looked at them? Pretty cool, huh? Daddy always insists on taking a ton of pictures of me wherever we go. I do not mind, as princesses are not to turn down a photo shoot, but I do wonder why he keeps fussing over "lighting" and "framing" and "focus" and on and on. Silly Daddy, all pictures of me are beautiful, because they are of me. Someday he will learn; in the meantime, I will just keep posing, smiling, and blinking right when he takes the picture.

Love,

Princess Ellie

My Visit to Washington: Days 5-8

On Thursday we went to this fantastic locale called a beach. It was very nice. I slept the whole way there; the royal chariot was quite comfortable. My parents and Grandma and Grandpa Gates tried to find me some sort of clothing item I could wear to protect my porcelain skin, but were unable to. Grandma Little and I call my skin porcelain, but Daddy calls it pasty, which I find to be demeaning. Apparently Mommy was afraid I would be albino because they are both so fair skinned. They have yet to say, however, whether or not I am albino... Anyway, the beach. The beach was fun, once we got to it. Grandpa and Daddy put up a little shelter contraption to keep my skin nice and fair (I like the term fair as well, because that's what they say about princesses, right? Fairest of them all? I do not believe anyone is much fairer than me). I believe the beach is a very nice place to visit and lay on with a shelter over me and a tarp below me and sunglasses on and left alone for hours. Mommy and Daddy tried to take me in a carrier up to the water and I did not like that. Not that I found the ocean to be scary, because I am sure it is included in my kingdom as well and would follow my commands just as everything else does, but I wanted to return to laying on the ground. Regally, of course. After awhile, we loaded up the chariot and left the beach behind. I fell asleep again but woke up in a wonderful place called Red Robin were I was able to eat and watch my family eat as well. Adults eating is fascinating. I love to watch them eat. If what they say is true, and I will eventually be like them, I look forward to being able to eat the most. I already grab and shove everything I can into my mouth, but when they do it, the items disappear! And stay down! Even when I eat, I regurgitate some later (I apologize if that is too graphic for some. I realize speaking of bodily functions is not very lady-like, but this is my diary after all, and you are all the loyal subjects willing to read it.
The next day we visited my Daddy's Daddy's Mommy. She was nice and held me some. She apparently crocheted me some of the stuff I have before I was born. I also visited with my Daddy's Mommy's Mommy again, but she kept refusing to just let me lay down. I really do wonder when people will learn how to read my mind. The next day was very restful, but I was coming to the end of my patience with this trip. There is just so much worshiping and adoring and cuddling and snuggling and gift-giving a little princess can take. Plus I had this weird itching in my mouth that started up that they call teething. I do not know what that means, but perhaps I will get those white things in my mouth that will let me eat food like adults do. Sunday was the last day, and that meant returning to the worship services and accepting further adoration from those beneath me. We flew home that night, and I slept the whole way. I did not even fuss when Mommy would not lay me down on the ground. I was just too tired to complain. When we were leaving the plane, people said things like "When I first saw that there was a baby on this flight, I was worried. But she was perfect." Why was this woman afraid of me being on her flight? I can only assume it was due to the higher threat of attack being around monarchy. Silly lady, she should know that everyone loves me and would never hurt me. She should be like me and trust everyone to the point of letting them hold her. And of course I was perfect. Another woman said "I did not even know she was there!" She should be more attentive. You never know when somebody famous like myself will be on your flight!

Love,
Princess Ellie

My Trip to Washington: Days 2-4

The next few days included a ton of visiting loyal subjects and playing with various relations. I have discovered that there is this particular class of citizens labeled children. I do not know of what purpose they are, whether they are other lesser royals or if they are some sort of short servants the other citizens employ to pick food from the gardens and entertain them with dressing up and hiding around the house to be found. I believe they must be some part of a growth pattern I will follow as well, as my parents talk about what I will be like when I am the size of these miniature adults and talk about how much I have grown. I have to take their word that I have grown, and continue to grow, as I struggle at even remembering back to when I started this journal entry and thus am incapable of remembering my growth pattern. Either way, these children are very doting taxpayers, but can come on a little strong at times. They loved to hold me, even though I was nearly as big as them, and some even read to me. Others would poke me, which adults have done as well, but it seemed to bring these little ones endless enjoyment. I did not appreciate it, but I know they did it out of love. There were so many appointments, it was quite tiring. I am sure, though, that it did the kingdom some good to receive visits from their princess.

Love,
Princess Ellie

My Trip to Washington: Day 1 (Three and a Half Months)

My scribes/servants/parents, Queen Mommy and King Daddy, have been very attentive to me but very neglectful of their scribe duties. Here is their feeble attempt to get caught up.

This last week was very exciting for me, as I got to visit a province of my kingdom called Washington. I assume it was a province over which I rule, as all of the citizens appeared to be loyal subjects of mine. Also, I have no reason to assume that I do not rule the world. Anyway, we flew there in a vehicle known as a plane, which seemed like a car but better because I got to be held. The only thing I did not appreciate about the plane ride was that my parents scheduled the flight at night during my bed time (I cannot be terribly upset about this, however, as I am sure it was to avoid paparazzi and all of the attention that comes with being a traveling royal). I am very particular about my sleep routine, as I sleep ten hours a night now, and when I want to sleep I must be laid on my back. I also prefer this at other times during the day, and become very verbal about this regimen. My subjects in Washington did not appreciate the gravity of this matter, as they wanted to hold me and cuddle me as much as possible (who can blame them; I am very adorable), but they learned. Anyway, I expressed my concerns for a few minutes with my parents but eventually became too tired to voice my complaint further. Eventually we arrived in my Little Grandparents' castle where a bed awaited my presence.

The next day was very well worth my time. We visited the worship services there and I was introduced to many subjects who dutifully worshiped me and held me. I stayed true to my regal ways and allowed them to do so, unless it began to interrupt my alone time. I got to see all four of my Grandparents, who were just as fascinating and charming as ever.

I also had the opportunity to meet my Daddy's Mommy's Mommy and Daddy's Mommy's Sister (I am unsure of what royal position that affords them). They were both delightful ladies, and one gave me a ducky snuggling a blanket. Sometimes, I wish the ducky would let go of the blanky so I could snuggle it more effectively, but the ducky is entertaining, if not possessive. I got so many little gifts that day, I cannot begin to relate how perfectly spoiled I am by these Grandparents and relatives of mine.

More to come.
Love,
Princess Ellie

Two and a Half Months

The hairy one is much more clever of a scribe than Mommy, but she'll have to do for today. I'm developing some new skills! I can sort of hold onto my pink ball! I can grab my keys, too, but just in between my fists. I love my fists! Unraveling my fingers is so silly. My favorite new thing is what Mommy calls a mirror! She holds them up to my face and I see the world's cutest baby (second to me, of course) looking back at me! Funny thing - when I smile, she does, too! At the same time! I can't quite figure out who the baby is, but I stare at her all the time! Mommy says I can almost giggle - I sort of screech (especially when I see my lion or my mirror) but it's almost a giggle or laugh like I hear Mommy and Daddy do!

Love,
Princess Ellie (via Mommy)

9 Weeks

What is up with these parental units of mine? I know I am a princess, so they must be some sort of royalty, but they certainly do not treat me like it. They laugh and take pictures of my face when I am having especially uncomfortable bowel movements. When I go to sleep, they bind my arms to my body as if they were putting me in some sort of straight jacket. I would complain to them more, and fight against it more, if it wasn't so delightfully comfortable. When they feed me, they stop halfway through and smack me on my back and make me burp, which is not a very princessy thing to do. I try to tell them to stop, but they just keep doing it. The thing I hate the most, though, beside the lotion I mentioned last week, is when Mommy sticks this thing into my nostrils and tries to vacuum the mucus out of my nose. It is not only uncomfortable and disconcerting, it is also embarrassingly unflattering. Even this would not be enough to write a whole journal entroy on my complaints if it wsan't for the fact that they took my abuse too far this past week. Now you may not believe what  iam about to say but I swear on the mystical bottle from whence all food comes that it is true: They stabbed me! the fiends did not even have the decency to perform the nefarious act themselves, they took me to what seemed to be a specialist to do it. I was just lying there, smiling a little at who-knows-what, then STAB! STAB! Yes, they did it TWICE, once in each leg! They called the stabbings shots, but even I know the difference between being shot and being stabbed. You know what made the whole situation worse? They added insult to injury by laughing when I immediately filed a verbal grievance with them! That's the worst part about trying to complain to these people - they never take my cries seriously. They will laugh, say "You're alright!" (obviously I am not alright if I'm crying, even if I don't know why), blow air in my mouth and laugh when it startles me and distracts me mid-whimper, give me what I want, or stick this pacifier thing in my mouth, which is weird and doesn't give me any food and is kinda nise and really comforting and...

What was I complaining about? I don't remember. Life is great! I'mre really starting to be able to hold up my head on my own, and I like doing it so much I don't like being held sideways anymore. My Grandma Little was here all week and never left me alone. Last Sunday they dressed me up in a really pretty and uncomfortable dres and bounced me in the middle of this circle of men while Daddy gave me a message from my Heavenly Daddy. And this week Mommy made us matching skirts for church, which was so adorable I just had to be fussy when they tried to get a picture of us together. I am a logical girl, after all.

Love,

Princess Ellie

8 Weeks

Today four people visited and stayed all day. I think they're some sort of traveling band of performers called "The Grandparents." At first their visit was disconcerting (I even cried when the ones who call themselves "Little" arrived. Everyone thought I was hungry, so Grandma Little fed me, which helped me warm up to her fairly quickly. I'm littler than they are, so I wonder if their stage names are meant to be ironic.) but I'm starting to like all of them now. They feed me and hold me and change me, so they're almost like another set of servants. I especially like it when they perform their act for me: they get up in my face, one by one, and talk in funny voices. Sometimes I would just stare, but when I realized tehy must be some sort of comedic troupe I started smiling and laughing and talking back, giving them suggestions for their routine or complimenting it, but I did occasionally heckle. They were good sports thought, because they would also sit back and watch as I did my own tricks. I played the classic "Acid Lotion" routine where I would cry when the one with boobs called "Mommy" would rub lotion on me - or even just when she opened the bottle. I also demonstrated how coordinated I am by smacking the dangl toys and grabbing and kicking around the ducky with my feet during my bathing time (although I find it odd that they watched me bathe). The ywere also thrilled by the fact that I sleep 8 hours now during the night. And I think they liked best how I can sit up in one of my thrones which they unceremoniously call a "Bumbo." All in a day's work. I'm so cool and popular. Apparently these "Grandparents" have visited my presence before, but I don't remember. Maybe it was once when I had gotten really drunk on milk.

Love,
Princess Ellie

7 Weeks Into My Reign

This week was pretty good, but I did not see the hairy one called "Daddy" very much as he was at something called "work" way more than usual. Work sounds boring, I'm glad I don't have to do it. Anyway, I was really happy to see him after the really long days he was gone that I would talk and talk, telling him about my day. Sadly, I don't think he understood me very well, as right in the middle of me telling him about the very first bridal shower I attended, he said "Yeah? What are you talking about, Ellie?" I'm afraid he may not be very smart. They also keep talking about how big I'm getting and my chubby thighs. They really know how to make a girl feel special. Despite their rudeness, I smile more for them, look into the camera, sleep for seven hours a night, and keep talking to them. I even deem them worthy to receive sustained eye contact from me.

Love,

Princess Ellie